**Early warning**
this will be a utterly butterly blabbering posty, beware!
I'm terribly unsatisfied, or dissatisfied - I'm not sure which is the correct English?? It's the sunniest day I've seen - I know yesterday it was sunny but it got cloudy real quick, today it has been sunny & warm since I got up. It is now 4.30pm
I.. haven't done anything.
I know it's a Sunday. I went to the Cinema last night so yeah I'm not crying out for something to do... but I'm a bit all over the place!
Usually, I'd sit in the garden or something, but my mum and dad have their Gardening Heads on and have moved all chairs and stuff, and are hosing and brushing and what not. It's just not very peaceful out there..
...I went for a walk this morning to water the neighbour's plants as they're on holiday.. which was alright.
I have the urge to go walking yet I cannot be bothered? I am annoyed that I'm not outside drinking in the sunshine and the heat before it goes as it always does in this damn country!! But I'm ... I DON'T KNOW I'M SO CONFUSING SOMETIMES :)
So I'm feeling rather discontented. I don't know what to do with myself. I go outside because I want to.. and end up strolling around my house for roughly 5 minutes and then I come back inside. I don't exactly want to meet any friends or anything. I just want to do something... something that I don't know what it is... sort ...of thing..
I think I'm lonely. How could you be an only child I have no idea?? My brother and sister are away on their "friend holidays" you see, I'll most likely be at that sort of thing next year. I'm a bit lost without them.. even though they aren't usually around seeing as they can both drive. I just feel so behind or something! I think times like these are crying out to have a driving license.. with that I could do anything! Even just driving around would sort of... content me I think.
My sister always does that too - she'd be like HERE, let's go for a drive. and we would! It would just entertain us or something. It gives independence I think.
I just feel very stuck-at-home. We live in the middle of no where and days like these I feel like I'm wasting being here , nowhere!
I could easily lie out on the grass. It's just a bit lonely..and well, boring. What is everyone else doing though? Beach and stuff? meh..
That's how odd this country of ours is! When there's a day of sunshine, it's so overwhelming you end up clueless as to what to do with yourself. Abroad, it's everyday like this so it's fine and you're used to it I guess! Here it's almost like a panic attack.. like "WHAT DID YOU DO ON THAT ONE SUNNY HOT DAY WE HAD LAST WEEK?!" and I feel annoyed if I say..er.. I did nothing...? Because then I wasted it...!!
Oh my word I have no idea what I am talking about. I think I'm just missing my siblings and am feeling rather useless as I have no free will to get up and go somewhere, behind the wheel preferably.
what are you doing? :)
Au revoir for now
x x x
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